21 years old. 8 notch count. $10,000 in the bank. About to travel to the US on a 1 year work visa. Setting a goal of fucking one new girl a week. Really big goal, but it will help push me to grow a whole lot more and push my boundaries.
Disappointed with myself because I had a girl naked in her bed and all I got was head. I knew she was shit testing and I should have pushed it further. She was dripping into the sheets and I fucked it up. It’s up to the man to make the rules. Afraid of rape accusations. Make the ho say no.
That window of opportunity is tiny. Like the apex of a curve right before it plunges down again. Take that shot because chances are you’ll only get one, and if you do get a second shot you’ll have to push twice as hard.
At the same time I’m proud of myself. I wouldn’t have done anything like that 2 years ago. I’m so much bolder, confident, well-dressed, aloof, less afraid of rejection. And I get excited because I know I’m getting so much closer and it won’t be long before I’m taking girls home consistently, managing them better, closing faster and with less roadblocks.
I credit my close friend Chase for coming along with me on this journey and all the bloggers (roosh, D&P, dagonet, VK, FFY etc.) for all the knowledge and insights they drop. I’m sure I only pick up bits and pieces of it along the way, but it slowly puts the jigsaw pieces into place and I start to see the overall picture. I get excited because a lot of the bloggers are 25-30 which means I have a lot of time to get this shit handled. How many other dudes my age work this hard on game? Hardly any.
This is a very exciting time in my life and shit is just about to get real.
I have an addiction to reading game blogs. I’m subscribed to over 10, as they all like to weave themselves among other manosphere blogs and it is so so easy to get drawn to other content. I like to check my Google Reader everyday, sometimes a few times a day for the content they have posted. I enjoy reading them because they often describe the lifestyle that I would like to obtain in regards to women and relationships but do not currently hold. It is in part a fantasy. I also enjoy being part of the ‘community’ and knowing the theory, history and terminology. However, in the past 2 years of reading game blogs, how many girls have I slept with? 2. How many girls have I made out with? A dozen.
This therefore ends the my time of reading game blogs as I have thoroughly proved that action wins over theory every time. The content that I have learned through the manosphere has been insightful in many areas of my life and helped me gain the courage to talk to women, but now I believe that time must end. It is time for a new me. The avoidance-weasel in my head will appear again, but I will rise to crush it again and again. Perhaps this addiction can be replaced with something more productive.
When are you going to stop wasting time in the fantasy and go out and create it for yourself?
For so long I wondered why beta males defended the women who cuckolded them, cheated on them and abused them. Then I realised that it was the belief schema they had been raised with and has been ingrained into their psyche and they will stop at nothing to defend it because it’s such a core part of their identity *guy who is nice to women*. When a women cheats on them, they try to fit that information into their existing set of beliefs and decide it was because they weren’t NICE ENOUGH. When in-fact they were being too much of a pussy and not taking the lead.
Changing your entire set of beliefs and changing to a “red pill” way of thinking about women takes a lot of work. It means scrapping everything your mother/beta father taught you about women, letting go of the ego behind it, going through some pain, accepting what you believed was wrong and then seeking new information to believe in, and testing it out to see if it brings you success.